Wednesday, April 30, 2014

How to break up with someone

The reason you are in so much pain, is because you have been betrayed, cut off and abandoned cold by someone you loved. Remember this pain, and never, ever do that to another human being. Especially if you find yourself dating another emotionally disturbed person, and have to call it quits. You take their calls, and you stand your ground, and you hold their hand through it. You let them know you still care about them, while enforcing your boundaries. Even if you are right, and they are assholes. Why, because its your responsibility as a human. That is all.

Monday, April 28, 2014

BPD... The Fragile Nutter

So years ago this thin and reasonably attractive girl gives me one of the best compliments I've ever gotten, and that's saying a lot. It was so good I was embarrassed, and she did it in front of a whole bunch of people including a smoking hot Aussie, that looked at me stunned when she heard it. It made me feel pretty good. The sucker for flattery that I am, had a new friend. Lets call her, Twiggy. I would run into her at work often and smoke cigarettes, and have long talks about all sorts of things. She was cute, shy, and a little bohemian homely but I kind of like that, and she really seemed the want me. Before long I agreed to give her what she obviously wanted, and we were set to go out on a date. When the time came I gave her a call and I don't know what changed but she became very nervous and paranoid, so I said okay and backed out gracefully. I met another girl and fell in love.
  Twiggy and I continued to chat at work, and she mentioned all the wild sex she was having with her new boyfriend. Years later after I went through my heartbreaking ordeal, Twiggy and I started talking again more often. She had been through an abusive relationship, and we talked about these issues, and all we had learned from our experiences. She ended up moving back home to Florida temporarily. Months later I get a call and Twiggy wants to come back to L.A. soon, and wants to know if she can move in with me. I'm considering it, because I'm over my break up, sort of, and lonely, and just want to move on, but still its a lot. She's suggesting we get romantic, but take it slow, and she doesn't have the money yet, so we have time. I agreed, and we talked on the phone here and there for months. Anyway, we are talking as usual, and I'm flirting with her, and trying to make her feel good, and I mention I can't wait to jump her bones. I guess that was bad, because she exploded into a long hysterical hissy fit, accusing me of all sorts of absurd things, like I violated her, and it became obvious she was spying on me, on facebook, and reading into my every innocent comment. I'd seen that behavior before, and was quite educated about it. I stood my ground calmly and shook my head. This was no normal shy girl, she was a fragile nutter, and I wrote her off quick. She left me a few more paranoid texts, but once you've gone through this with someone you were deeply in love with, and climbed, and educated your way back to sanity, with an understanding of what is going on, these looney tunes cannot rattle you. You'll feel like your dealing with a child, and you kinda are. Sad. Oh well, your loss Twiggy. The second you hear that explosive raging rant, you know you are dealing with an abusive control freak, hiding behind a victim mask. Don't think lowering your standards will buy you any appreciation, or loyalty. It doesn't work like that, you're just selling yourself short.